THE CAMPAIGN

By Doug Young

Camp(aigning) against campaigns

POP GEEK HEAVEN received the following press release from the campaign of the film The Campaign:

From:  The Campaign Campaign
Re: Attacks on The Campaign are no joke
Contact: Critic Man
Phone: KL5-5000
Email: Criticman@fake.email.com

Denver, CO; Friday, August 10, 2012:

The campaign of The Campaign, a film starring Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Dylan McDermont, John Lithgow, and Dan Aykroyd (among others) and directed by Jay Roach, which is about a congressional race in a district in North Carolina, is aware that some of its themes and depictions may offend the sensibilities of some audience members. We wish to set the record straight without wallowing in the mud, like so many other campaigns.

We are referring to the chatter about how some individuals are interpreting the
depiction of two filthy rich campaign contributors. We wish to make it clear that we
claim absolutely no responsibility for how some people choose to view this film and
take it so gosh darn personally. We would direct those who might be ticked-off to
the disclaimer at the end of the end credits — uh, that is, if you can manage to stay
around that long — which reads:

All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. They may or may not be
funny, gross, irreverent, insulting, pompous, or repulsive. Any resemblance
to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental (wink, wink)

Notwithstanding this legal mumbo-jumbo, so what if these fictitious characters
might resemble some real world humans who spend bazillions on candidates who
hate government and yet who are itching to become part of it? Why not be proud of
that? You should be able to use your largess to remake the country to your own
liking. After all, that’s what the Constitution says according to the Supreme Court.
So, we would appreciate it if people who are offended by our film would please stop
bad-mouthing the Constitution and the Supreme Court, thank you very much.

 
And while we are at it, we also understand that some did not find many of the
platforms propounded in our film all that humorous, side-splitting, knee-slapping,
blowing-soda-out-your-nose hilarious. But those fussbudgets may be surprised to
learn that The Campaign is not a comedy. Nope. It’s a documentary. That’s right. We
focused on a campaign in North Carolina to show everyone the actual inner-work-
ings of today’s office seekers. Sure, much of what we show in this film is blatantly
obvious, trite and downright stereotypical of politics and politicians. But that’s not
our fault. Political campaigns are serious businesses; the business of running our
country is serious business as any current campaign will tell you (over and over and
over again). Instead of laughter, we intended to elicit utterances of acknowledge-
ment, recognition, and yes even gasps, regarding the state of political campaigns
these days.

So, you can be excused for not laughing — or at least not laughing very hard.
Still, you have to laugh, or you would cry. As we are sure that others will no doubt
come forward and cry “foul” at many other aspects of The Campaign, we want to
take this opportunity to preemptively express similar non-apologies to anyone who
may be appalled or outraged by the following elements depicted in The Campaign:

=>>Unopposed political candidates. It’s not our fault that you get complacent
and think that your reelection is divinely bestowed. One of the candidates we
followed for The Campaign, Cam Brady (who looks amazingly like Will Ferrell), is
the personification of such attitudes. He doesn’t try very hard, the populace pays
precious little attention, and he thinks he can get away with…anything. That is,
until the Motch brothers (Glenn and Wade, who are the spitting images of John
Lithgow and Dan Aykroyd, and, um, maybe, just maybe, some other brothers
who also happen to finance political candidates and movements) decide that
they are tired of Cam and fund the candidacy of Marty Huggins (a veritable
doppelganger of Zach Galifianakis) to run against him. That means poor ‘ole
Cam’s gotta actually run a campaign complete with issues and tactics and
speeches and “kissing” babies. You’re breaking my heart.

=>>Babies. Child abuse is no laughing matter. That’s why it’s our civic duty to
comment on the way that babies are crassly used for political campaign
purposes. These“props” are innocent bystanders, and the fact that Cam actually
punches a toddler in the face in super slow motion may upset mothers, parents,
or anyone who was once a baby themselves. Our response: Don’t be a baby. Our
job is simply to get candidates to think twice about this aspect of campaigning,
because it hurts, not only the infant, but us bystanders.
=>>Campaign consultants. Excuse us, but aren’t these folks paid to win, win,
win? They can’t be faulted for the tactics they employ — even if that involves
helping candidates become better people, you know, helping them to wear the
right clothes, look a certain way, exhibit wholesome American values. In short,
creating “authentic” fakes. The Campaign glowingly focuses on one such
upstanding example, Tim Wattley, a high-wattage image-maker who also just
happens to have the same physical and facial features as Dylan McDermott. And,
because he is so skilled at what he does and so passionately believes in his job
and mission, he is able to dexterously provide his services (for the appropriate
compensation) to both sides of this robust and vibrant campaign. We also get a
glimpse at the media handlers who create outstanding campaign commercials
that help bring the contrast between Cam and Marty into stark relief — we simply
can’t be blamed if those commercials allege that the facial hair sprouting Marty is
an al-Qaeda operative or that Cam is a womanizing sexaholic. Again, they are all
just doing their jobs and it’s not our fault that we happen to show it in its raw,
unvarnished form.
=>>Pug dog owners. Far be it from us to pick on defenseless animals (admit it,
pugs are not scarily vicious) or pet owners, but we simply must point out that this
breed of toy dog did in fact originate in…wait for it…China. So, the fact that
Marty owns not just one but two of these critters is worth howling about — and
Cam and his team do just that, even though the Motch brothers and Wattley
humanely replace Marty’s pugs with other more American breeds (we will over-
look that these other dogs originate from (horrors!) Canada and (yawn!) Scotland).
Dig it?
=>>China. Face up to it: This nation is emerging as a world power. It may even
eclipse us in some areas (although not in Olympic medals, nyah nah!). And why is
that? Well, everyone knows it’s because they pay their workers next to nothing
and have virtually no environmental regulations. Look it up. Because the Motch
brothers seek to construct a Chinese-like manufacturing plant in the district and
get their anointed candidate to help relax federal laws and regulations regarding
labor and environmental protection is not worth staging a revolution over. It
merely makes us bullish on China’s shop(floor).
=>>Drunk drivers. This is another very serious issue. We do not condone this
activity in the slightest, but it sure can be helpful if your campaign opponent
happens to have a DUI in their background. That we swerved over into this
subject when Marty calls the cops on Cam after having a few before he hits the
road is not cause to pull us over and ticket us with indiscretions. It’s our 12-step
encouragement for drunk drivers to follow the straight and narrow.
=>>Texters of illicit photos. It’s a no-no. ‘Nuff texted.
=>>Truth tellers. This is dangerous territory for political aspirants. Who knows
how this can bounce and spin and get all twisted and misused? Best to stick to
the traditionally tried-and-true method of campaigning and do whatever it takes
to win, win, win. Let the losers get all confessional. After all everyone expects a
little resume padding. It’s ok, we won’t pay much attention anyway.

“Filmoholic” Critic Man, aka Doug Young, has been rehabbing at The Colorado Statesman for the last decade or so. A senior environmental policy advisor to Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper, his reviews canbe found regularly on Pop Geek Heaven.